How often have we heard ourselves, our colleagues or family state that they want a specific goal but never make that desire a reality? Are these just ‘pipe dreams’ or outcomes that would truly add value to our lives? And, why do we seem to be frozen in one place, not really advancing either in our professions, our personal desires, or even on a spiritual level? Is it not enough motivation, lack of resources, or is the journey of going worse than the pain of languishing in the current place?
Sometimes we see folks stuck in the present based on past events, unresolved grief, fear of change, or cultural traditions. And even though we know that we can’t undo history, you see people locked in time saying, “if that had happened differently, I would have been able to do such and such”. Many people make their evaluation of what is possible or not without paying significant attention to the reasons they stay in unrewarding jobs, thankless relationships, or even restrictive social communities. Regardless of the circumstances, human society has the capacity to change, effect change, and transcend to the next chapters of life’s achievement.
If you’re thinking you need to transcend to the next chapter in your life, ask yourself:
• At what point did your life become a declaration of the “non-congruent self”? What factors keep you in the current situation, finances, dependents, environment, or health issues? Is this decision solely your own or are others influencing this decision? What are your feelings with the current situation resignation, sadness, resentful, heart-break, despair, anxiety, etc.?
• If you are considering a career or professional change, what investments do you need to make in your skills or working lifestyle? Would this change require relocation, downsizing for a while, or the separation of close friends for a period of time?
• Do you suffer guilt over ‘breaking out’ of the family or social practices in pursuing your life’s direction? What would be the benefits and consequences of pursuing your direction when it breaks out of the family’s’ or the generally accepted social practices? What invisible rules will you be violating?
• What if your future contributions to the world and yourself are dependent on an appreciation of yourself? If not, how would appreciation for self affect your decisions over changing your future?
“Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks & discomforts.”